I am blessed in so many ways.
But when it comes to my child's constant sickness, I have to wonder, "Is my baby more sick than other babies?"
Because I swear I never hear of so much sickness as I see when I am with my little guy. I've even noticed one pattern- EVERY single month, around the 8th (which was when he was born) he gets sick! There's always something, whether it be a small thing like the cold, or a big thing like pneumonia, my baby boy never misses his birthday! It makes it very hard for a mom to be excited for her child's monthly birthdays when he is always going to be sick!
This month, his ninth month, he is sick with his first ear infection and a horrible case of the stomach flu. It started on Friday, the day before his monthly birthday, and it is still here today- almost a week later! Friday, Saturday and Sunday he wasn't eating, and he had diarrhea. We took him in on Sunday and found out he had the flu and an ear infection. Started giving him antibiotics (amoxicillin) and I feel like I am on to something- I wonder if he might get sicker from the amoxicillin. When we try to give him ammoxicillin and tylenol at the same time he vomits every single time- and this happened the last time we had to give him amoxicillin (for pneumonia that time).
So after having been vomited on three times in half an hour (and changing as many times), my morning has already started off at a bad start. I am a working mom, so every time I am late, I worry it will go against me. Every day I have to ask off, I worry it will get me closer to the door (and not in a good way). It is hard to be a stay at home mom because of the lack of contact with people, but I sincerely believe that it is harder to be a working mom. Before 7:30 I have to be completely ready (pump, shower, makeup, breakfast, dress, and get my lunch ready) and have my little guy all ready for the day (fed, change diaper and clothes, bring whatever supplies he may need for the day) and out the door already on my way to daycare. It takes half an hour to get to work when it would take half that time if I didn't have daycare to go to (and a cute little guy to get in and out of the car and such).
So of course I had to call my boss today and tell her that for the second time this week I will be late, because my husband has to come home from work to take care of our sick munchkin. All week we have stayed home with him, with the majority of the days being Daddy staying home, because I have the full time job. It is days like these that make me go "Why? Why does it have to be this way? Why can't everything be perfect and daycare take care of my little guy no matter what? Why do I have to work full time- why can't I stay home with him?" But there is always an answer- because there is always a good and a bad side to each of those ideas. If daycare took care of him while he was sick, they would have to do the same for all the other sick kids. And where would that get us? Sicker, that's where. And if I stayed at home in our current financial position, you would be seeing us on the streets eventually (only half kidding).
Ahh... the things we do to stay afloat.
Life is never easy as a mom, and I am most reminded this when Karson is sick. There are always parts of me that wish I could stay at home and take care of him to the Nth degree and be there for every cough and every sneeze. Other times I think it is nice to get out of the house and have some adult conversation. There will always be grass that looks greener on the other side, until you are ON the other side. I was reminded of that as I watched my son play with toys today. Since he is so sick, he wants us to be close to him always, even if he doesn't even look at me for ten minutes, as long as I am there beside him he is happy as a clam, but if I walk away for a second, he notices and cries bloody murder. So as we sat on the floor playing, I started drumming on one of our cups and he looked at me and the cup and set aside what he was playing with and started playing with the cup I was playing with. Then when I took up drumming on something else, he again did the same thing, because obviously Mommy was having so much fun- so he will probably have more fun with that toy.
This reminds me that that is how our lives are. While our friends are staying at home and we are working, we think, "Man, it would be awesome if I could just stay at home every day with my little guy and be there for every new thing he does, and wear pajamas all day if I want, and go out to the mall or shop or do whatever." But at the same time, I am realizing that the stay at home moms look at us working moms and say, "Although I love being with my little guy, sometimes I just need to get out of the house, or have some alone time, or even some adult conversation that isn't my husband!"
I guess we all have to just be happy with what we have. There's always the silver lining, and I try to remind myself of that daily. I'm happy to have the job I have- I'm very blessed because I have hours that work with my daycare, and eleven holidays that are paid time off, a great work environment with lots of people that I can get great interaction with, and a good daycare that I can trust. I'm thankful that God has given me all of these blessings.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Mommyhood - Every Day is a Reward
Today I was boasting about my child's newest achievements and remarked, "Being a mom is the best reward ever! I don't know why everyone isn't a mom!" And that stopped me to think- why doesn't everyone want to be a parent? Well, I don't know why, but that isn't the reason I am writing today. I'm writing today to write about all the wonderful things that parenthood brings.
I fall in love with my little guy daily. Daily. And I can't imagine that there is one mother that doesn't unless she seriously does not take 5 minutes out of her day to just watch her child and stare at him. How can you not be in love with someone who is so excited about every new thing that he is introduced to?
For example, my little guy has just learned how to scoot (almost 9 months old) and it is the cutest thing you could ever see! He pushes with his toes and pulls with his hands, and gets where he wants to! Probably not as easy as crawling but he refuses to stay on his hands and knees for more than a minute. He may never crawl, we will see, but for now, the scooting is adorable. He sees something he wants (which is half the time off limits) and scoots toward it. I can't help but smile and get tears in my eyes, because I remember the day when he figured out how to use his arms and legs. I remember when he started to get curious about his surroundings. I remember when he rolled over and when he sat up by himself. Each time he did something new like that I was overcome with joy and pride. My child achieves his goals!
Karson also is a socialite. Absolute charmer, really. When he was just starting to take notice of people, we were at one of his doctor appointments, and his doctor remarked, "There is nothing wrong with his social skills! He is flirting with me right now!" And there he was, smirking with his big blue eyes twinkling. If he looks at someone, they are obligated by the 'cute kid law' to smile and try to make him laugh. It's just impossible not to love on this kid- even for the people who know nothing about him. I've gotten to know more people because they can't help but come up and get to know him. :-)
I'm even proud of the things I know will drive me crazy someday. Such as the fact that I know he is a mischievous little stinker- I can see him try to figure out what will get my attention (which is normally something he isn't allowed to do). And the way I got him to scoot for the first few times was by putting something he REALLY wanted that he couldn't have just out of reach. Watch that kid scoot the marathon if there is a cell phone, cords, or plastic anywhere near him!
So, every day is a challenge with a child, because we all have to face the fact that we can't be as selfish anymore- can't just run out and get groceries or go shopping, can't blow all our money on things that we don't need - but every day a parent should be able to find at least one reason they are happy to have their child in their life. The extra colors that now decorate your family room because of the activity mat and exersaucer. The people you have met or gotten close to because you both had children around the same age. The art that decorates all your rooms because your child loves you and shows you by his artsy talents. The music of your child's laughter. The smile that only YOU can get out of your child.
There's always something. And today I was reminded that every day is a day to celebrate being a mom.
I fall in love with my little guy daily. Daily. And I can't imagine that there is one mother that doesn't unless she seriously does not take 5 minutes out of her day to just watch her child and stare at him. How can you not be in love with someone who is so excited about every new thing that he is introduced to?
For example, my little guy has just learned how to scoot (almost 9 months old) and it is the cutest thing you could ever see! He pushes with his toes and pulls with his hands, and gets where he wants to! Probably not as easy as crawling but he refuses to stay on his hands and knees for more than a minute. He may never crawl, we will see, but for now, the scooting is adorable. He sees something he wants (which is half the time off limits) and scoots toward it. I can't help but smile and get tears in my eyes, because I remember the day when he figured out how to use his arms and legs. I remember when he started to get curious about his surroundings. I remember when he rolled over and when he sat up by himself. Each time he did something new like that I was overcome with joy and pride. My child achieves his goals!
Karson also is a socialite. Absolute charmer, really. When he was just starting to take notice of people, we were at one of his doctor appointments, and his doctor remarked, "There is nothing wrong with his social skills! He is flirting with me right now!" And there he was, smirking with his big blue eyes twinkling. If he looks at someone, they are obligated by the 'cute kid law' to smile and try to make him laugh. It's just impossible not to love on this kid- even for the people who know nothing about him. I've gotten to know more people because they can't help but come up and get to know him. :-)
I'm even proud of the things I know will drive me crazy someday. Such as the fact that I know he is a mischievous little stinker- I can see him try to figure out what will get my attention (which is normally something he isn't allowed to do). And the way I got him to scoot for the first few times was by putting something he REALLY wanted that he couldn't have just out of reach. Watch that kid scoot the marathon if there is a cell phone, cords, or plastic anywhere near him!
So, every day is a challenge with a child, because we all have to face the fact that we can't be as selfish anymore- can't just run out and get groceries or go shopping, can't blow all our money on things that we don't need - but every day a parent should be able to find at least one reason they are happy to have their child in their life. The extra colors that now decorate your family room because of the activity mat and exersaucer. The people you have met or gotten close to because you both had children around the same age. The art that decorates all your rooms because your child loves you and shows you by his artsy talents. The music of your child's laughter. The smile that only YOU can get out of your child.
There's always something. And today I was reminded that every day is a day to celebrate being a mom.
The Aha! Moment about sleep
AHA!
There's always a moment in everyone's life (hopefully more than one... ;-/) that you go- OH MY WORD THAT IS A GREAT THOUGHT!
And let me tell you- I normally forget those thoughts.
So before I forget- here is my thought.
Just a few minutes ago I was putting my son, Karson, to bed, and he just didn't want to go to bed. He recently figured out how to scoot, which has, of course, opened up a whole new world to him. I can just see it in his eyes as I watch him- he scoots into this corner, and looks around, and I can just tell he is thinking "Wow, it looks so different over here! Why did I wait so long to scoot?"
It's kind of like if you were to sit on a couch backward - that is, to have your head hanging off the couch and your feet in the air - and you look up at the ceiling and look around at how the doors don't go all the way to the ceiling (or the floor in this case) which means that if you were able to walk on the ceiling, then you would have to step up to get into the next room. If you followed that, or if you remember doing that as a child, you are probably thinking, "Yeah, that was totally weird! Kind of cool to think of life walking on the ceiling!"
Or ... maybe it's just one of my quirks. But I always thought it would have been pretty awesome to have an upside down day, just for kicks. Hopefully I'm not alone....
Anywho! That was not my thought. So, Karson is being totally hard to put down, and I'm kinda feeling generous, so I am holding him and trying different positions to make him sleepier so it isn't so hard to put him down. I bounce him (which worked when he was younger, but now only makes him go "aaAAaaaaAAaaa" so that when he bounces he sounds funny :-) ), and I try to give him a bottle, I hold him in the burp position, in the rocking position, and then I start swaying side to side with him in the rocking position (head on top of one arm, feet hanging off the other arm, at least in older kids' case).
AHA! This makes me think of one night when I was getting tired while I was laying in bed and suddenly my mind had me swaying so that I was rocking back and forth like a swing. It was marvelous and one of the best feelings I've ever imagined, and of course I fell asleep like a rock, probably purring.
So I watched as my son starts to do the same thing- he makes this sound that kinda sounds like the groan you have when you are really loving the massage you are receiving, and then his eyes start drifting shut. Every once in awhile that little stinker tries to open his eyes, but that swaying just kept him going back down into slumberland. Soon, I had him down in the crib with nary a sound.
So there- my AHA! moment is- if you need help getting your child to sleep- try swaying him back and forth from foot to head, and if your child is anything like me and my child, you will have a sleeping child within no time.
There's always a moment in everyone's life (hopefully more than one... ;-/) that you go- OH MY WORD THAT IS A GREAT THOUGHT!
And let me tell you- I normally forget those thoughts.
So before I forget- here is my thought.
Just a few minutes ago I was putting my son, Karson, to bed, and he just didn't want to go to bed. He recently figured out how to scoot, which has, of course, opened up a whole new world to him. I can just see it in his eyes as I watch him- he scoots into this corner, and looks around, and I can just tell he is thinking "Wow, it looks so different over here! Why did I wait so long to scoot?"
It's kind of like if you were to sit on a couch backward - that is, to have your head hanging off the couch and your feet in the air - and you look up at the ceiling and look around at how the doors don't go all the way to the ceiling (or the floor in this case) which means that if you were able to walk on the ceiling, then you would have to step up to get into the next room. If you followed that, or if you remember doing that as a child, you are probably thinking, "Yeah, that was totally weird! Kind of cool to think of life walking on the ceiling!"
Or ... maybe it's just one of my quirks. But I always thought it would have been pretty awesome to have an upside down day, just for kicks. Hopefully I'm not alone....
Anywho! That was not my thought. So, Karson is being totally hard to put down, and I'm kinda feeling generous, so I am holding him and trying different positions to make him sleepier so it isn't so hard to put him down. I bounce him (which worked when he was younger, but now only makes him go "aaAAaaaaAAaaa" so that when he bounces he sounds funny :-) ), and I try to give him a bottle, I hold him in the burp position, in the rocking position, and then I start swaying side to side with him in the rocking position (head on top of one arm, feet hanging off the other arm, at least in older kids' case).
AHA! This makes me think of one night when I was getting tired while I was laying in bed and suddenly my mind had me swaying so that I was rocking back and forth like a swing. It was marvelous and one of the best feelings I've ever imagined, and of course I fell asleep like a rock, probably purring.
So I watched as my son starts to do the same thing- he makes this sound that kinda sounds like the groan you have when you are really loving the massage you are receiving, and then his eyes start drifting shut. Every once in awhile that little stinker tries to open his eyes, but that swaying just kept him going back down into slumberland. Soon, I had him down in the crib with nary a sound.
So there- my AHA! moment is- if you need help getting your child to sleep- try swaying him back and forth from foot to head, and if your child is anything like me and my child, you will have a sleeping child within no time.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
To breastfeed or to not breastfeed....
Ahh, the age old question. One I was just thinking about today. My baby is almost nine months old, and I breastfed. Past tense. But now- I exclusively pump. You may be thinking, "What the heck is that?" and most people do... it is actually a very new thing to do as a mother.
There are a lot of babies that, for some reason or another, can't or won't breastfeed. Tongue ties, can't latch for who knows what reason, or they just won't breastfeed.
I breastfed my little guy for the first three months of his life and it was HARD. There is no beating around the bush on this blog, so I am going to be completely honest- when I was in the hospital, holding my little boy for the first couple of days and trying to breastfeed and trying to get him to sleep, I seriously didn't think I could manage being a mom. I remember thinking, "How am I going to be able to do this? I can't do this- this is so much work!" I was bogged down by all the crying and the feeding, and couldn't enjoy the first few weeks of his life like I should have because I was so worried I was doing it all wrong!!!
Sidenote: Please, don't make that mistake- of course you will make mistakes during motherhood, but you won't be doing it wrong if you love your child and are trying! So stop worrying, if you are, and start gazing upon that miracle of a child you have!!!
Complications were all over the place in our breastfeeding relationship. My labor wasn't easy, and I wasn't able to breastfeed my son until hours after I had him. We also found out that I had inverted nipples (how was I supposed to know... they always looked normal to me, but it's not like I look at other women's nipples either!) and that meant that I needed to use a breast shield to breastfeed. Now, let me tell you- breastfeeding with a breast shield is double, no, triple, the amount of work that just breastfeeding is! You have to situate that shield just right, make sure it is suctioned correctly on your breast, then, bring the baby with one hand holding the shield and one hand holding the baby, and somehow also manage to get the baby to keep sucking. Well in my case, my little guy was so tired, I had to stimulate him while feeding him, and since I didn't have an extra hand handy (ha!), I relied on my wonderful husband to do anything to wake up our little sleeping beauty. Rub the head, tickle the toes, rub the back or stimulate the cheek. Wasn't easy, but we did an ok job of waking him up most of the time.
He still didn't gain enough weight, so the doctor told me to pump in between feedings, doing at least three pumps a day and also to take a supplement called "more milk plus". Imagine my dismay at this- I am feeding every two hours or more, and at each feeding, my child eats for a minimum of 45 minutes, and a maximum of 1 1/4 hours. And then I need to be feeding him again in 45 min-1 hour. So basically, right after I am done feeding him for that hour and some, then finish pumping, I have about half an hour to eat, shower, whatever I decide to do with that time...
Yeah. Not fun. At all. But did I do it? You betcha. Why? Frankly, because I was too sleep deprived to think of any other way to do it! Finally, after lots of supplements and lots of pumping and feeding, my baby was back to a good weight and gaining well. Whew! And then at 6 weeks, I got another break- little guy latched like a pro without using the shield! I was amazed, so excited, and of course, like any smart woman, held onto that shield (just in case!) for a few more weeks. But he was doing amazingly without the shield, and the best part was that instead of feeding for an hour or so, we were down to 15-20 minutes tops! Exciting stuff!
Sadly, my maternity leave ended two weeks later. And surprise, surprise, after my little boy figured out how to use the bottle, he didn't really like using anything OTHER than the bottle. So at three months, I tried to breastfeed him, and he pushed away. For weeks after, each time he was hungry, I would try to breastfeed him, but he would turn away, and I would cry, because like any sleep-deprived mother, I took it personally! Each time he would eat from the bottle, I would pump, because I figured it was the best way to keep my milk supply up. And I guess I did ok, because I am writing this blog today and am still able to pump enough milk for him daily!
Now, does that mean that you should try as hard as I did? No way, girl! Are you kidding? I'm a crazy lady, and the only reason I lasted that long was because A) I didn't really think it all through and B) I didn't have enough money for formula and can't get WIC.
Please, if you have the means to get formula, go ahead! Do it! I am a believer in whatever works. Also, I do not believe that breastmilk is ANY better for your little one- my boy has had almost every sickness under the sun and he hasn't had an ounce of formula! So, if you are worried about sickness, I would say you are better off being a stay at home mom and formula feeding than being a working mom and breastfeeding.
Anyway, the reason I decided this should be my first post is because I just went through my supply of frozen milk, and figured out that I have AT LEAST 900 ounces, which should supply my little guy with 3 months of breastmilk! What does that mean? Well, that means that when he hits 9 months, I am finally able to stop pumping! This girl can finally "hang the horns" so to speak, and get on with her life! YAHOO!!!!
But I just want to say- exclusively pumping has its ups and downs, and that will come in another blog... but I want you to know that as long as you are feeding your baby, I think its great. Pump, breastfeed, formula feed- they are all great ways to give your baby the nutrients he/she needs. Just remember that at the end of the day, what matters is your love.
There are a lot of babies that, for some reason or another, can't or won't breastfeed. Tongue ties, can't latch for who knows what reason, or they just won't breastfeed.
I breastfed my little guy for the first three months of his life and it was HARD. There is no beating around the bush on this blog, so I am going to be completely honest- when I was in the hospital, holding my little boy for the first couple of days and trying to breastfeed and trying to get him to sleep, I seriously didn't think I could manage being a mom. I remember thinking, "How am I going to be able to do this? I can't do this- this is so much work!" I was bogged down by all the crying and the feeding, and couldn't enjoy the first few weeks of his life like I should have because I was so worried I was doing it all wrong!!!
Sidenote: Please, don't make that mistake- of course you will make mistakes during motherhood, but you won't be doing it wrong if you love your child and are trying! So stop worrying, if you are, and start gazing upon that miracle of a child you have!!!
Complications were all over the place in our breastfeeding relationship. My labor wasn't easy, and I wasn't able to breastfeed my son until hours after I had him. We also found out that I had inverted nipples (how was I supposed to know... they always looked normal to me, but it's not like I look at other women's nipples either!) and that meant that I needed to use a breast shield to breastfeed. Now, let me tell you- breastfeeding with a breast shield is double, no, triple, the amount of work that just breastfeeding is! You have to situate that shield just right, make sure it is suctioned correctly on your breast, then, bring the baby with one hand holding the shield and one hand holding the baby, and somehow also manage to get the baby to keep sucking. Well in my case, my little guy was so tired, I had to stimulate him while feeding him, and since I didn't have an extra hand handy (ha!), I relied on my wonderful husband to do anything to wake up our little sleeping beauty. Rub the head, tickle the toes, rub the back or stimulate the cheek. Wasn't easy, but we did an ok job of waking him up most of the time.
He still didn't gain enough weight, so the doctor told me to pump in between feedings, doing at least three pumps a day and also to take a supplement called "more milk plus". Imagine my dismay at this- I am feeding every two hours or more, and at each feeding, my child eats for a minimum of 45 minutes, and a maximum of 1 1/4 hours. And then I need to be feeding him again in 45 min-1 hour. So basically, right after I am done feeding him for that hour and some, then finish pumping, I have about half an hour to eat, shower, whatever I decide to do with that time...
Yeah. Not fun. At all. But did I do it? You betcha. Why? Frankly, because I was too sleep deprived to think of any other way to do it! Finally, after lots of supplements and lots of pumping and feeding, my baby was back to a good weight and gaining well. Whew! And then at 6 weeks, I got another break- little guy latched like a pro without using the shield! I was amazed, so excited, and of course, like any smart woman, held onto that shield (just in case!) for a few more weeks. But he was doing amazingly without the shield, and the best part was that instead of feeding for an hour or so, we were down to 15-20 minutes tops! Exciting stuff!
Sadly, my maternity leave ended two weeks later. And surprise, surprise, after my little boy figured out how to use the bottle, he didn't really like using anything OTHER than the bottle. So at three months, I tried to breastfeed him, and he pushed away. For weeks after, each time he was hungry, I would try to breastfeed him, but he would turn away, and I would cry, because like any sleep-deprived mother, I took it personally! Each time he would eat from the bottle, I would pump, because I figured it was the best way to keep my milk supply up. And I guess I did ok, because I am writing this blog today and am still able to pump enough milk for him daily!
Now, does that mean that you should try as hard as I did? No way, girl! Are you kidding? I'm a crazy lady, and the only reason I lasted that long was because A) I didn't really think it all through and B) I didn't have enough money for formula and can't get WIC.
Please, if you have the means to get formula, go ahead! Do it! I am a believer in whatever works. Also, I do not believe that breastmilk is ANY better for your little one- my boy has had almost every sickness under the sun and he hasn't had an ounce of formula! So, if you are worried about sickness, I would say you are better off being a stay at home mom and formula feeding than being a working mom and breastfeeding.
Anyway, the reason I decided this should be my first post is because I just went through my supply of frozen milk, and figured out that I have AT LEAST 900 ounces, which should supply my little guy with 3 months of breastmilk! What does that mean? Well, that means that when he hits 9 months, I am finally able to stop pumping! This girl can finally "hang the horns" so to speak, and get on with her life! YAHOO!!!!
But I just want to say- exclusively pumping has its ups and downs, and that will come in another blog... but I want you to know that as long as you are feeding your baby, I think its great. Pump, breastfeed, formula feed- they are all great ways to give your baby the nutrients he/she needs. Just remember that at the end of the day, what matters is your love.
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